A great man once said, "open up, baby birds cause i am about to drop some knowledge on you"....
Here is the TRUE story of the BCBs....
Kickball originated in the fields of Southeastern Mexico, where the Aztec tribes would play a ritualistic game involving bases and the decapitated heads of their enemies. The losing team would be sacrificed to the Gods and, sometimes, the winning team would also be massacred in homage to the Gods. Upon witnessing the Aztec championship game in Tenochitlan, during which seven players were killed and the entire losing team was sacrificed, along with the umpires and a hot dog vendor, one of Hernan Cortez's crew members brought a form of the game, using an inflated pig's bladder in place of an enemy head, back to the fields of Spain. The game soon caught on and spread throughout Europe. However, as the game grew in power and influence, with Seargents-at-Arms being replaced by Kickball masters in the Royal Courts of Europe and Asia, the Catholic Church became jealous. With a papal bull, Pontiff Clement I banned all forms of Pegabalon, or kickball, from all of Europe. Soon thereafter, kings and emperors from all corners of the world followed suit, and kickball became a remnant of the past. However, a few brave souls formed secret societies and, upon penalty of death, waged midnight kickball battles. Having barely survived the Spanish Inquisition and the days of the English Star Chamber intact, these secret societies, hunted by authorities in every country and hated by other secret societies jealous of their kickballing skills, sent their last remaining members across the ocean to the newly formed colony of America.
Relegated to the budding colony of America, kickball remained an underground sport, being taught only to children, whose innocent play and lack of skill eased the fears of Presidents and Governors who opposed the game. The secret societies, however, began to recruit, in anticipation of one day reviving themselves in the full light of day, and restoring their power. A brief revival was ended when the Civil War broke out, which, unbeknownst to most, was largely due to the fact that Confederate and Union kickball leagues alike allowed members of all races to play together, on the same field, and it didn't go over well with the cotton farmers. With more than two thirds of the membership killed in action, and entire kickball squads wiped out in some of the larger battles, most notably Gettysburg, kickball once again was relegated to the shadows. The enemies of kickball could breathe easy once again, but they had forgotten one important thing: kickball never dies.
And though such notables as Rockefeller and J.P. Morgan conspired to eliminate kickball once and for all, kickball was not without its own allies. Teddy Roosevelt was a closet kickballer, leading a team of his "roughriders" to the Cuban championship while on a tour of duty. Eugene Debs, the great socialist, was also a kickballer whose most famous saying, though often misquoted, was originally: "While there is a flip cup element, I am of it, While there is a kickball team, I am on it, and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free." Once the Sherman Antitrust Act kicked in, and labor unions came to power, however, kickballing once again began its slow but steady return to prominence.
And through this long period of instability, with the secret societies of kickball carefully guarding their secrets and clinging to the shadows, one band of brave kickballers maintained the sacred traditions of years past. The East Coast may have been the first to bring kickball back into the open, practicing the game as best they could, but until recently, the ancient secrets of kickball remained a well guarded secret.
Come now that ancient tribe of dedicated kickball masters. The true leaders of kickball have returned to rule the kickball world and to instruct the heathens in the mystic forces of kickball, once known only to the ancient Aztec ruler Moctezuma, whose spirit now guides the guardians of his legacy.
These brave descendants of the greatest kickballers in history, true mavericks in the sport, have been reunited under one banner: THE Best Coast Ballers.
Yes, the sons and daughters of kickball have returned to reign over the sport that is rightfully theirs, and this year, under the Midnight Sun of Las Vegas, they will once again reign supreme.
Don't say that we didn't warn you!
